Hit-Girl-Friend?
by vf19excalibur
Summary: Dave comforts Mindy after her disastrous date and starts wishing they were more than hero & sidekick.
1. Chapter 1

This story ran away from me. I had originally planned this to be a oneshot, but it's pretty clear with how much I've written at this point it can't possibly be that.

This is based on the Kick-Ass movies. I have taken liberties with the timing- Mindy's date took place on a Friday night, because I honestly don't think she has time enough to get everything ready (dress, makeup, sick stick etc,) by the next day as shown by the movie, as she's already spent most of the night walking to Dave's house. Not to mention getting a chance to sleep. Also, I'm pretty sure you can't legally adopt a child if you're single, so I had to create a wife for Marcus, who you'll meet later on in the story. Anyway, thanks for reading.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kick-Ass. Mark Millar does.

* * *

Dave never saw Mindy as anything more than a true superhero to look up to. That is until she snuck into his room wearing a skirt. The only other time she'd been in his room, she was dressed in her Hit-Girl costume, and she was all business. Now, she was dressed to impresses, and his eyes went to her very short skirt, which showed off her toned legs. Mindy's Hit-Girl costume had a barely there skirt also, but she wore a full body padded unitard underneath it. But one look at her beautiful face, with tears on the verge of spilling, broke his heart. She moved tentatively, something he'd never seen her do, and he held out his arms. She latched onto to him, telling him of her disastrous first date. Everything spilled out and he said what he thought was the best thing to say in this situation. Seeing the most powerful person he'd ever met crying in his arms almost drove him to tears also.

Holding her, she seemed to relax, her sobs lessening. But she was also close enough to smell the shampoo in her hair and the perfume she wore for tonight. Other thoughts, ones he'd never considered, were starting to form. Yes, he'd just been dumped in spectacular fashion in front of what felt like the entire school, but Mindy needed him now as a friend, nothing more. Her hair brushed his cheek, its coldness making him flinch slightly. It was then he noticed that wasn't the only cold thing about her. He rubbed her arms slightly.

"How long have you been walking?" he asked, finally breaking the silence.

"A while," she said quietly.

Dave loosened the hug and brought the back of his hand to her forehead. "You don't feel hot." He reached over his blanket around them, making sure it covered more of her than it did him. "Better?"

Mindy nodded, and pulled him close again. "Thanks." She said finally, "To tell the truth, I was ok with before, but this is better."

Dave nodded, and continued holding her close. He shifted a bit, and felt cold steel at the small of her back.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot about that."

Reaching gently, Dave pulled the gun out of where she'd tucked it into her skirt at the small of her back. "Did you seriously go out on a date packing heat?" he asked, incredulously.

She let go, and Dave was relieved to see a small smile on her face. "Marcus frisked me before I left. I got that on my walk here."

Dave quirked an eyebrow.

"C'mon Dave," she sighed, "I'm a little girl walking alone in the middle of the night. A bunch of dumb shits thought I was easy prey."

Her confidence was returning, and he couldn't help but smile as the old Mindy was coming back. "I didn't see any blood on you. Good to see you haven't lost your edge, considering what you've been through tonight."

She shrugged, "You can't beat reflexes." She backed away and flicked out her right arm. Out popped a switch blade she'd tucked into the sleeve of her cardigan. "They had a whole lot of crappy weapons on them. That snub nose Colt was the best of the lot." She pressed the button and the blade snapped out. "I only kept this piece of crap cuz the gun only had two bullets."

During training breaks, Mindy taught Dave on guns. His hands moved confidently, opening up the top breaking revolver. The extractor ejected 2 hollow points and 4 spent cases. He gave Mindy a questioning look.

"He obviously didn't have enough bullets to reload & it looks like the empties were fired a long time ago." She took one of them and held it to Dave's face to get a better look at it. "If you're holding someone hostage, you want them to think you've got a fully loaded gun. If he had only loaded the 2 bullets, you'd see light through the empty chambers & know that's all he had. By keeping the empties in the chambers, you could fool someone into thinking you have a full load."

Dave nodded sagely, "I still have much to learn master."

"Indeed you do Grasshopper," she waved dismissively.

By now, she was truly back to her old self. Absently, she began rubbing her foot. He took a look at the shoes she'd kicked off when she came into his room. "Scoot back a bit."

She leaned back to the headboard, his blanket still wrapped around her. She gave a questioning look.

"My mom was a nurse, so she was on her feet a lot. My dad gave her foot rubs."

She nodded, and he took one of her feet, gently massaging it. She sighed and relaxed against the headboard. "I'm so glad I didn't wear high heels."

Dave chuckled, "You haven't seen the kinds of heels Katie-" He stopped himself short out of reflex. But it was just that, a reflex. There was none of the pain that had accompanied her memory before.

"Sorry about all that by the way," She said quietly.

"Totally my fault, I was the one who brought her up. Besides, if it didn't happen, I'd still be in the dark to her seeing someone else," He sighed, switching to her other foot.

Mindy closed her eyes and sank down further down the bed. She sighed breathily, "You're really good at this."

Her movement bared even more of her legs and Dave wondered if she heard him swallow his breath nervously. He turned his eyes away, for a second, but realized he wouldn't be able to see what he was doing. Instead, he focused on her feet, ignoring his peripheral vision. In hindsight, he realized this was probably how his dad got his mom in the mood. His dad would massage his mom's feet for only a short while before they went back to their bedroom.

Shaking his head, he noticed the clock radio beside his bed red 12:56. "Mindy, what's your curfew?"

"Hmm?" she sighed sleepily, rolling onto her side.

He looked towards her and froze. He'd never imagined her wearing frilly lace panties, but he found it suited her. Did she wear them in the off chance her date would even get that far? Was she wearing a matching bra?

Dave stood up & walked as far away from her as he could. Facing a wall, he placed his hands on it and hit his head on it. "This is so fucked up." He whispered, closing his eyes. He took a couple minutes and took a deep breath to steady himself. He walked to this side of the bed, making sure not to stare at all she was baring in front of him and knelt beside her.

"Mindy, wake-"

He didn't get far before her hand shot out, just stopping an inch in front of his throat. She cracked an eye open, "Sorry, instinct." She sat up and adjusted her clothes, which Dave was thankful for.

"What were you saying?"

"Curfew. Your dad must be going crazy by now."

She fished out her phone and nodded, "It's been on silent the whole night. I should get going." She stood up and walked past Dave, meaning to head back out through the window.

"Dad's got the car," Dave called out to her. He stood up, "You've walked enough for the night. I can take you on my bike."

Mindy turned and leaned against the window, "Marcus is probably staking out the door. He'd notice I'm not coming home on a bike with a different boy that picked me up."

"So we explain the whole thing."

"Does that include our 'extracurricular activities'," she said, using air quotes.

Dave shook his head, "Not the Kick Ass part. Just what happened tonight. You got ditched and I came to your rescue."

"A warm blanket & a foot rub hardly counts as a rescue," Mindy countered.

"Maybe we can use tonight to smooth things over with him. You can't like the fact that we can't see each other anymore. I just want to go back to training with you," he said, pausing before saying, "And hanging out with you." He thought of the down time between exercises & when they were going home together. Just those times being with Mindy were quickly becoming the highlight of his day, even more than the time he'd been spending with Katie. Until their breakup that is. "I kinda miss you."

The darkness hid her blush, "You can be such a pussy sometimes."

"Even the insults. And the ass kicking to a much lesser degree."

"If you really want, I can probably mod my Hit-Girl costume into something more S&M," Mindy teased.

The image of her scantily dressed with a whip flashed in Dave's mind before he shook it off, "Um, no."

"Just fucking with you. C'mon," she said, leaving his room and climbing up the stairs.

Dave smiled, sure that the old Mindy was back.

The night was cold, so he loaned her one of his old jackets. Mindy rode side saddle on the rear rack of his bike. During the ride, they went over what they would say to Marcus. Dave hoped their cover story had enough options depending on where the conversation led to. As they got closer to Mindy's house, she said less and he wondered if she'd fallen asleep, but her arms around his waist still held firm. For a moment, Dave wished their bike ride could last forever.

Sure enough, Marcus saw them riding down the street. His arms were crossed, but what Dave focused on was that he was wearing his police shoulder holster on. Dave stopped just in the driveway, just short of where Marcus was standing.

"I know, I know. Let's talk inside," Mindy said, jump off the bike and brushing past both men. She walked straight into the house, not bothering with a backwards glance at them.

It was a quiet street, so every nervous rustling of clothing was easily heard. Marcus narrowed his eyes at Dave, who tried to look as non-threatening as possible. Dave popped out his kickstand and leaned his bike onto it. Finally, Marcus turned, with Dave following behind. They came upon Mindy, already seated comfortably on the living room couch.

"Not here," Marcus said. He didn't wait for any confirmation and continued down to the basement.

Mindy walked by Dave, lightly elbowing him, "We've got a nice home theatre down there- all soundproofed and everything. If he shoots you with a suppressed 9 mil, my stepmom shouldn't hear anything."

Dave watched her disappear down the stairs. He stood rooted to the spot & took a look at the front door.

"I get it, I get it. 'Just fucking with me'," he whispered under his breath.

Coming down the stairs, Dave admitted that it was a nice basement. Marcus was behind a bar, nosily mixing up a drink, while Mindy sat at the corner stool. Her legs were crossed, but her skirt still showed quite a bit of leg. Dave looked away as soon as he realized Marcus caught him staring.

"I take it you're the boy I saw Mindy sneaking off with last Wednesday?" Marcus said, pouring out the contents of the cocktail shaker into a martini glass.

"Yes sir. Dave Lizewski," he said, offering his hand.

Marcus simply continued mixing his drink, adding an olive and pouring off a bit of olive brine into the glass.

Dave lamely put his hand into his pocket, seriously thinking of blowing the whole thing off. His eyes wandered to the gun in Marcus holster. Marcus would have plenty of time to draw, aim & fire well before he made it to the top of the stairs.

"Dave, sit down," Mindy commanded, patting the seat beside her, "Marcus, lay off he's just a friend."

"It's rather unusual for a high school senior to be hanging out with a freshman, isn't it?" Marcus asked, finally giving Dave a once over. Now that the focus was on him, Dave wished Marcus was still busy mixing his drink.

"She reads comics. Most people in my circle of friends read comics too," Dave reasoned.

Marcus nodded over to Mindy, "From what I've seen, Mindy's not into older guys. So the question is, are you into little girls?"

Dave shook his head, holding his hands up, "No way. I'm just a friend." He took a sidelong glance at Mindy, "Her first day of school was legendary. She beat up two guys a year older than her. If I even think of putting any moves on her, which I wouldn't, I might add; she'd probably beat the shit out of me."

Mindy & Marcus shared a look. Dave was pretty sure Marcus didn't know that he was Kick Ass. To Marcus, he must have looked like some dumb kid who managed to befriend Hit Girl without realizing it.

"You better believe it," Mindy said, twiddling a cocktail skewer between her fingers.

Marcus simply hmm'd and took a leisurely sip of his drink. Dave got the idea that playing poker with this man would be a bad idea.

"So, how about you telling me what happened tonight?" Marcus finally said.

Dave looked at Mindy and she gave the barest hint of a nod. She swiveled her seat to face Marcus.

"It was a prank the new girl kinda thing. They date ditched me in the woods a few miles out," Mindy admitted. "Dave's house was closer, so I took a break before heading home."

"Should I be calling parents right about now?" Marcus asked.

Mindy stared back at Marcus, "Hell no. I'll be handling this myself."

"No body bags." Marcus countered.

"Shit," Mindy smirked, "It would have been all kinds of ironic to dump their bodies the same place where they ditched me.

Dave snickered, drawing attention to himself, "They do deserve it. If it had been anyone but Mindy, bad things could have happened to some other girl."

Mindy continued, "How about life in a wheelchair?"

"No."

"Injuries requiring extensive reconstructive surgery?"

Marcus shook his head.

"Triple digit hours with a psychiatrist?"

"That I can live with," Marcus relented.

Marcus finished his drink in one final draw and placed, it on the counter, "Fine. You can have your revenge. Just make sure there's no lawsuits."

Mindy was beaming and Dave could almost see the gears running through her mind. It was dangerously close to the devilish grin she gave when dealing with lowlifes.

"Mindy, you can go to bed, I'll show Dave here to the door," Marcus said in a tone of finality.

Dave gave a pleading look to Mindy, who returned one that said good luck. She climbed up the stairs; both men listening to her footsteps grow fainter.

"So, what's with the trip to the mall on Wednesdays?" Marcus asked.

"New comics day," Dave said confidently. This had been one of the things he and Mindy had practiced. "I usually go after school, but Mindy and I got to talking about vampires, and I brought up that there was this one comic series where Batman became a vampire. She got really interested and we made a date of it."

Dave's face fell. He felt like he just stepped on a landmine. Marcus' eyes narrowed and he leaned in slightly.

"Fuck! Shit! Slip of the tongue!" Dave half-screamed, waving his hands wildly. That seemed give Marcus pause, and Dave continued, "Sorry, this whole thing is just freaking me the hell out. I'm meeting Mindy's freakin huge adopted father, who's a cop, who just happens to be carrying his gun with him. Cut me some freaking slack. I don't have any intentions towards your daughter."

Marcus leaned back, finally cracking a smile, "You only live once, and I'm going to enjoy freaking out every single boy that takes her out past her curfew." He drew his gun, to which Dave flinched to, and showed it had an empty magazine.

The situation was too much, and with his mind reeling, Dave let out a single relieved laugh. Marcus joined in, and within seconds, both men were laughing together.

After the laughs died down, Marcus asked, "Feeling better?"

With the tension broken, Dave relaxed into his seat and nodded.

"But I could have sworn I saw you checking out Mindy out earlier."

Dave fell out of his chair. Marcus made no move to help him out, and by the time Dave righted the seat, he noticed Marcus' expression hadn't changed.

"C'mon, it's a guy thing," David said, standing his ground. "All my friends are a bunch of comic book guys. Of course, I'd prefer looking at the girl in the group instead of a bunch of guys I've known since kindergarten. Besides, she's never dressed like that before. I wasn't expecting it." The image in his mind alone was enough to distract him. There were a few moments before Marcus snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I thought you said you weren't interested."

"I'm," Dave took a minute to think, "confused."

"How so?"

"Some people saw I was hanging around Mindy a lot and someone started a stupid rumor that we were doing it, which we already established were weren't," Dave said quickly. "People don't know why we always took off on Wednesdays. So anyway, my girlfriend dumped me, so now that I'm single." Dave sighed, "I am looking at Mindy a little differently."

Marcus didn't look angry, so Dave continued.

"I saw her as the kid sister I never had, someone who I wouldn't even consider because I already had Katie," Dave laughed, "Saying her name doesn't even affect me anymore."

"This sounds a little like you're rebounding."

Dave shook his head vehemently. "I'd never treat Mindy like rebound girl. She deserves better than that. I'd never do that to her."

"That's good to hear," Marcus said, standing up. "I think it's time you headed home." Marcus walked around the bar and ushered Dave up toward the stairs.

Pulling out his cell, Dave saw it was nearly 4 in the morning. "Thanks for the talk. And not killing me."

At the doorway, Marcus held out his hand, "Thanks for taking care of Mindy."

Taking his hand, Dave shook it unsteadily, "I really didn't do much."

"I know Mindy," Marcus said with a far off look. "She could have easily gone straight home without any sort of break. Instead, she chose you to lean on. She doesn't trust many people, remember that."

Nodding, Dave got on his bike, sparing a look back at Marcus seeing him off. He could have sworn he saw a curtain move in one of the second floor windows, but it could have just been a streetlight reflecting in the window.

* * *

Part of the reason why I wrote this is seeing Marcus reaction to the failed date. I had expected someone to use it at some point but nobody ever did, so I went and did it myself.


	2. Chapter 2

The hardest part of this was the girly stuff & choosing where to cut the chapter off.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kick-Ass

* * *

"Dave, wake up."

The remnants of his dream faded quickly, but there was something about flying higher and higher, until he couldn't make out the details of New York as he ascended. Opening one eye, Dave saw his father standing over him and responded with a confused grunt.

"I know you don't like me barging into your room like this, but your alarm clock as been going off for the past hour already."

"It's Saturday. I don't set an alarm for a Saturday." Dave mumbled, fumbling for his phone.

His dad shrugged, "That's what it sounded like to me." With that, his father left his room and headed down the stairs.

Turning on his phone, he saw 10 messages from a number he didn't recognize. Opening the first one, it said, "Can you come over to my house today?"

His first thought was spam but his spam filters usually did a good job blocking those. Then he thought it was an accidental text, but all the messages were all from the same number. Opening the second text, it simply said, "I'm Mindy."

Now fully awake, he opened the next consecutive texts. They essentially boiled down to saying she was making plans for her revenge and wanted him over for help, with the final few ones asking if he was awake or if she'd been texting the wrong number the whole time.

Dave showered and dressed faster than he'd ever done in his life. Running down the stairs, he skipped the milk and scooped up a handful of cereal and wolfed it down.

"It's a girl, isn't it?"

Choking slightly, Dave turned to see his father looking back at him from the living room, the TV on and a newspaper in hand a smug grin on his face.

Forcing down the not completely chewed cereal down his throat, Dave quickly said, "It's just a friend."

"Riiight," his dad drawled, and turned back to the TV.

Wolfing down another handful of cereal, Dave ran out of the house & was on his bike, pedalling as fast as he could. He'd gotten 3 blocks before it finally dawned on him, why was he rushing? There was nothing to imply in Mindy's text messages that he had to be there right away. He slowed down, taking in the sights. As a typical teenager, he'd never seen what an early Saturday morning looked like. The cold from the previous night still hung in the air. There was hardly any traffic, so Dave managed to get to Mindy's house in no time. It was only when he got off his bike that he noticed his legs were burning from exertion. Training with Mindy had made him fit, so the only reason why he'd be sore is if he'd been pushing himself. Looking at his watch, it proved that he had rushed to Mindy's house after all. He thought back to the previous night's ride had been leisurely, so as to plan what they were going to say to Marcus. But right now, what he remembered most clearly was Mindy with one arm around him, riding side saddle on his rear wheel rack.

While taking a moment to calm himself down, Dave noticed his reflection in one of the windows. He made a futile attempt to arrange his unruly hair. Failing that, he straightened his glasses and smoothed his shirt. Somewhat satisfied, Dave rang the doorbell.

Dave nearly had a heart attack when Mindy answered the door. Mindy had her usual pale pink track pants on, but her top consisted of a flimsy white camisole with one strap hanging dangerously close to slipping off her shoulder.

"C'mon in Dave," she said casually, turning towards the living room.

It was nearly impossible to not stare at the way she effortlessly padded her way through the house. He found himself trying to make out what she was wearing underneath her track suit bottoms and forcibly looked away.

"Marcus suggested I watch his movie to get a picture of what I'm up against," Mindy pointed to the TV.

On the screen was 'Mean Girls', specifically, the scene where Lindsey Lohan's character had a makeover to be more like the Mean Girls that she'd eventually take down over the course of the movie. Dave had spent many nights jerking off to that image, but this time, she paled in comparison to the real life girl in front of him.

"Have you watched this movie before?" Mindy asked, sitting down and grabbing a bowl of popcorn from the table and onto her lap.

Robotically, Dave sat down on the other side of the sofa, "I think everybody's seen this movie."

Mindy nodded and hit the play button. They watched in silence for a few minutes, but Dave kept sneaking glances to the girl by his side.

Dave almost jumped when Mindy slid a bowl of popcorn from her lap and placed it between the two of them, "Oh, sorry 'bout that. Here you go."

Grateful he wasn't caught, Dave grabbed a handful. With the bowl of popcorn out of her lap, he noticed the pencil and pad of paper. Again, Mindy must have caught him looking.

"This is homework," she said, jotting down a note on the pad.

Having caught twice, but with Mindy misunderstanding each time, Dave tore his eyes from her and looked around the room. Pictures hung on either side of the TV. There were pictures of Marcus through the years, one with Damon & Marcus in full police regalia in front of a stage, a picture of Marcus & his wife, a petite black woman with cheerful, angelic features. He knew from what little tidbits Mindy let out about her past was that it was Marcus & his wife that raised Mindy for the first 5 years of her life, before Damon's prison sentence was up. His eye locked onto a picture of Mindy as a baby, who seemed to have discovered a bottle of baby powder, and was in the process of pouring some into a sleeping Marcus' ear.

Dave stood up to take a closer look at it.

"You better not be taking a picture of that." Mindy said offhandedly, eyes still studying the TV.

"I wasn't even thinking of it," Dave replied, casually fishing around for his cell phone. "But that is a great idea."

In a second, Mindy was up from her seat, trying to stop Dave from taking a picture of her baby picture. Using his height to his advantage, Dave kept his phone well clear of Mindy's grasping fingers, while using his other hand to keep her at arm's length, wary of touching anything he shouldn't be. Within a few moments, it was obvious Mindy was just play fighting. If she'd been serious, Dave could imagine that he'd already be a bloodied mess on the nice white carpet. Scrambling for position, Dave's foot caught on the bottom of the couch, sending him toppling onto it. Mindy had been holding on to his shirt, so she followed right after him.

Mindy had trained Dave how to take a fall; relaxing his muscles so that he could roll with the punches, so he managed to control his fall and cradle Mindy as she fell on top of him. He looked up into her eyes, and froze. She was so close that, he'd barely have to tilt his head closer to kiss her lips. He could feel the warmth of her soft body through the layers of clothing between them. The instinct to wrap his arms around her was strong, but he somehow managed to keep them away from her, the picture frame still in his right hand, which he placed softly onto the floor. Mindy seemed to be in no rush to get up.

"Good morning Dave," Marcus said from across the room, "I didn't know you were coming over today." His arms were crossed, splitting his glare between the two of them.

Dave and Mindy quickly detangled themselves and sat on opposite sides of the couth.

"Good morning Mr. Williams," Dave said, wincing slightly as his voice broke under Marcus' gaze.

"He's going to help me with my plans to get back at those girls," Mindy said, point out the paused movie and her notepad.

Marcus took at step back as footfalls coming down the stairs approached. His wife rounded the corner and took in the scene in front of her. Marcus motioned to Dave, "Honey, meet Dave Lizewski. He's part of the anti-bullying campaign at Mindy's school."

Dave was surprised at the cover story Marcus had thought up. "Nice to meet you Mrs. Williams," he said, standing to give her a hand shake.

"Sarah," she said, taking his hand.

"Dave here was bullied when he came out of the closet," Marcus continued, smiling was Dave's smile faltered slightly. "Now he's here to help Mindy out with her situation."

Sarah pulled Dave in for a hug, "It's terrible when people are so closed minded. My brother also had some close calls when he came out." She released him from her hug. "Thank you so much for looking out for Mindy."

"It's no problem at all Sarah," Dave replied, adding a slight lisp to his voice. He gestured to the room, "I just love what you've done to the decor. It must have cost a fortune."

Beaming, Sarah giggled, "Actually I am a home decorator. I had to do the whole thing myself because this big guy has no sense of taste." She elbowed Marcus slightly.

"Men!" Dave agreed patting Sarah on the forearm, eliciting a giggle from her. "Sometimes I only think they're good for one thing."

Behind Sarah, Marcus was trying everything to hold it together. Dave couldn't hear anything behind him, meaning Mindy was somehow keeping a straight face.

Nudging his wife, Marcus said, "Honey, we should get going."

"Oh, right," Sarah nodded. She hugged Dave again, "It was nice meeting you."

"The pleasure was mine," Dave said, holding her hand to his heart.

As Marcus passed, he punched Dave lightly on the shoulder. When the front door closed, Mindy lost it, laughing so hard she turned red.

"Fuck! I gotta act gay again?" Dave yelled in frustration, slumping back into the sofa.

Just when they thought Mindy's parents had gone, Marcus came back, patting down his pockets.

"That was good improvising Dave," Marcus said while looking around for something.

Mindy managed to get her giggles slightly under control, "What was with that cover story?"

Marcus paused to look her straight into her eyes, "Do you really think Sarah would leave you alone with a boy with the house all to your selves?" He rounded a corner and came back with his police notepad and threw a yoga shirt towards Mindy, "And cover up young lady."

Catching her pink track suit top, she looked up to Marcus, "What for?"

Looking between the two of them, Marcus settled on Dave, "We all know Dave here isn't gay. I'm just taking precautions."

"But it's just Dave," Mindy said, gesturing to her sidekick.

Dave felt a sharp stab in the gut. He had a feeling Mindy saw him at best as a brother, but this all but confirmed it.

"I'm sure Dave here is getting distracted. Aren't you Dave?"

Feeling two pairs of eyes bearing down on him, Dave coughed nervously. He couldn't think of anything to say, but Mindy beat him to it.

"Fine, fine," Mindy relented, putting on her track suit top. She looked up to Marcus, "Do you have a chastity belt for me to wear also?"

Marcus didn't miss a beat, "What do you think we're going shopping for? Have fun kids."

This time, after Marcus closed the door behind him, Mindy followed and made sure her parents had actually left. She flopped onto the couch and sighed. She looked over to Dave.

"Do you actually mind if I wear this or not?" she asked, fingering her top.

A thousand scenarios ran through Dave's mind and he didn't like where any of them were going. This was Mindy McCready, Hit-Girl, the greatest superhero in New York. And she was also a very attractive teenage girl, the kind that in every other circumstance would never even give him a second look. He'd already gone through this with Katie, never believing that he was ever good enough for her. Dave had thought things were going well until the revelation that she'd been seeing someone on the side. But with Mindy, their friendship, their camaraderie, was something he didn't want to ruin by something as messy as love.

Not getting a response, Mindy began to zip down her shirt, the sound seeming to echo throughout the house.

"Wait! Stop!"

Mindy stopped, eyebrow raised, "Should I be offended?"

Her tone didn't sound offended, but Dave immediately felt guilty. He turned towards her, "You're really pretty-"

"Holy shit. Are you giving me the 'it's not you it's me' line? We aren't even dating."

Since his first choice was taken, Dave went with, "You're like the sister-"

"And now you're following up with the 'I see you as a sibling' line? Dave, you're being really cliché right now, so that means you've got something to hide. Just spill."

"I may or may not-"

"Now you're going lawyer-ese on me?" Mindy laughed. "Last chance Dave. I know you can take a beating, so if you don't tell me the truth, I'll take you out using your chakra points."

"Wait, those are real?" Dave asked, staring as Mindy exaggerated cracking her knuckles.

Mindy nodded, smiling, which gave Dave pause. A ray of sunlight hit her perfectly at the moment, and he knew just how easy it would be to fall in love with this girl. Mindy slowly crawling towards him, while he backed away, only to be stopped by the arm of the couch. When her right hand lashed out, he miraculously caught it.

"Tits are every guy's weakness!" Dave yelled, bracing himself for her next strike.

Instead, she felt her shaking. Opening his eyes, she was holding her stomach, trying to contain her laughter. He let her hand go, and she fell back onto her side of the couch.

"Oh God! You should have seen your face," she coughed out between giggles. "'Tit's are every guy's weakness'? If someone hasn't done it, I'm slapping that on a t-shirt and making some money off it."

"Can we get back to the movie?" asked, gesturing to the screen, which incidentally showed a close-up of Lindsey Lohan smiling.

"Fine, fine," Mindy said, unpausing the movie. "What, you got a hard on for this girl?"

"No, she's not my type."

"So what is your type?"

Dave couldn't say his type was the girl sitting beside him. He'd already seen the movie & whacked off to pretty much every girl there. But now, he could care less about any one of them.

"The brunette one," Dave lied.

Mindy tilted her head a little, scrutinizing the brunette Mean Girl. "Makes sense. She does kinda remind me of Katie. If you got a type, you got a type."

Finally seeing a chance to turn what's been a morning of embarrassment for him onto someone else, Dave asked, "What about you? What's your type?"

"Rorschach. The Red Hood."

"Real life Mindy."

She answered quickly, "I never really thought about it," she said, taking down another note.

This was both good and bad. She wasn't interested in anyone, but that also meant she probably only saw him as a brother. Dave watched the movie without really seeing anything, his mind occupied far more by the girl sitting across from him. He hadn't even noticed when the movie had ended, until Mindy spoke up.

"Have you ever heard of this movie?" Mindy asked, as she navigated the Netflix menus and placed the cursor onto a movie poster saying 'Heathers'.

Dave scanned the movie details, "I've heard of it, but never watched it."

Mindy pressed play, and they watched in silence. This time, Mindy was smiling as things got progressively darker. She was furiously writing on her notepad as the ideas came to her. Dave was shocked by how dark the movie got, without going too far. When it ended, Mindy was practically bounding with energy.

"That was way better than the first movie."

"That was way more fucked up than I imagined," Dave said, trying to catch his breath.

"What was wrong with it?"

"Nobody died in the first one. I can't believe Marcus suggested that movie to you."

"Maybe Marcus wanted me to see the two extremes? He did already tell me not to do anything really nasty," Mindy mused, poking around on the Netflix menu.

The rattling of keys at the front door signalled the return of Mindy's adoptive parents. Sarah poked her head in and called out, "Mindy honey, we're home. Is David still here? Marcus could use some help."

Dave went out and saw a rental van in the driveway with its rear doors open. Rounding the corner, he found Marcus waiting for him, sitting on the lip of the van floor.

Marcus stood up, "Let me take a look at you."

Not sure what to do, Dave spread his legs slightly and held his arms out to the side.

"I'm not frisking you," Marcus said, walking around Dave appraisingly. He leaned in and checked Dave's collar from left and right.

"So what are you doing?" Dave asked, putting his arms down.

Marcus ignored his question, "Mindy's got a good poker face and hides her emotions well. You're the type that's got a dozen tells."

"We weren't making out," Dave said, finally making sense of Marcus' insinuations.

"Uh-huh," Marcus relented, "Grab one end, I'll get the other."

Inside the van were two miniature lampposts. They took up half the length of the van and the two men moved them into the open garage.

Seeing Dave's unanswered question, Marcus said, "They're for one of Sarah's clients. The client wants them to have an aged look. These are straight out of the factory, so she'll age them over the course of the week."

"Can't the factory or someone else do that for her?"

"It's cheaper this way, no middlemen to do the work for her. Plus Sarah likes to do things herself anyway."

Dave nodded and the two finished moving the second on in silence. They entered the house to the sounds of Mindy chopping vegetables & Sarah standing over a bubbling pot. She turned to Dave, "Thanks for helping out David. It wasn't too much for you was it?"

"No ma'am, no problem at all," Dave replied, remembering to change his intonation and mannerisms accordingly.

"In return, I'm making some of my harvest medley soup," Sarah took a spoonful of the broth she was making and offered it to Dave.

"It tastes wonderful," he said after tasting it.

"And we haven't even added most of the vegetables yet either," Sarah looked over to where Mindy was sitting at a stool, behind them chopping vegetables. "I've been trying to teach Mindy the finer points of cooking but they just don't stick. She is handy with a knife though."

Mindy shot him a look that said he should keep quiet and Dave suppressed his smirk. "Amazing house, amazing cook. Marcus certainly lucked out in finding you," Dave said, "So how can I help?"

"I'm curious with what's happening with Mindy," Sarah said quietly, "How is she in school?"

"Well, it seems she took the top spot at the cheerleading tryouts the other day and some girls weren't happy about it. The boy that took Mindy out last night ditched her," Dave confessed, also keeping his voice low. He was sure that Mindy could probably hear the two of them; she'd slowed her chopping to make less noise than before.

"As one of our anit-bullying campaign members, I keep my phone open to everybody to the school. She called me and I picked her up last night," Dave explained, trying to keep his lie in line with the truth of what happened the previous night.

"Should I be making some phone calls?" Sarah asked.

Dave chuckled, "You know, Marcus asked the same question actually. No, things like these would best handled by the children themselves. How else will they make it through life if we're always the ones taking care of them?"

"'Children'?" Sarah asked.

"I'm the most senior one in the group," Dave shrugged, trying to cover up his slip up, "Besides, I'm an only child growing up. I love Mindy. She's like the sister I never had."

"Fuck!"

Sarah and Dave turned to see Mindy, licking her finger.

"Mindy, swear jar," Sarah scolded.

Dave immediately went to examine Mindy's wound, "It's okay. If I'd had cut my finger, I'd be screaming bloody murder. Let's take a look." He held her hand gently, careful not to get lost in the feeling of her soft skin. With all the attention, Mindy seemed flushed.

"I'll be alright Dave. It's just a little cut," Mindy said, pulling her hand away. She threw a dollar in her swear jar on her way out of the kitchen and went upstairs to get a band-aid from the bathroom.

"That girl has a few rough edges," Sarah admitted.

"I think that's part of her charm," Dave said, taking up the knife and continuing where Mindy left off. "I wouldn't want her any other way."

Sarah sighed, "You certainly look out for her like an older brother."

"I do what I can just to keep up."

Marcus came into the kitchen and went straight for the stove to take a taste of the broth, "What happened with Mindy?"

"Mindy cut herself preparing the vegetables," Dave said, still on the cutting board.

"She's usually so good with a knife," Marcus said, eyeing Dave.

"There's a first time for everything. Maybe she got distracted?" Sarah offered.

"Maybe she's got a lot on her mind. We're still planning out our revenge on those girls who tricked Mindy," Dave said, setting down the knife. He poured the vegetables into the pot.

"How goes the planning?" Sarah asked, "Can I help?"

"I don't really know what Mindy has in mind," Dave admitted, "Today was pretty much recon so far. Mindy hasn't been in school for very long and doesn't know the cliques & social structures. A crash course in Mean Girls was perfect for her. Heathers, Marcus' suggestion, was a little much though."

Sarah glared at Marcus, "Was that the one with Wynona Ryder?"

"Yeah," Marcus nodded, "They need to know they're limits. Mean Girls is at the ok end of the spectrum, Heathers is the not ok part of the spectrum."

Mindy came down the stairs, "My idea should fit in right between the two." She sat down on a stool next to Dave. "After lunch, I was thinking Dave & I could go shopping for supplies."

"Where are you going?" Marcus asked.

Sarah followed up with, "When will you be back?"

Dave looked between the two adults, their questions followed perfectly after another, he almost felt as if it was rehearsed.

"Jersey. We should be back by 6," Mindy answered evenly.

Marcus focused on Mindy, "What could be so important you have to go all the way out there?"

"We'll have to go shopping for a dress & makeup for Mindy to show up those girls. Without a doubt, they'd be going to a local mall. I wouldn't want to run into them there," Dave reasoned, relying on his expertise back when he was acting gay, "Trendy girls like that wouldn't go all the way to Jersey. They'd got to SoHo or Fifth Avenue."

"And you could probably find a thrift store for some decent jewelry. Just like that song 'Thrift shop'," Sarah offered.

"And you're okay with this?" Marcus asked, "Letting Mindy go off alone with a boy you just met?"

"He's taken good care of her so far," Sarah said, walking over to the pot and stirring it. She looked towards Dave, "You will be taking care of her, right David?"

"Of course ma'am," Dave said, miming a boxer, "No one's gonna mess with your daughter while I'm around."

Sarah laughed while Marcus looked on incredulously.

"My hero," Mindy deadpanned, but a smile cracked through as Dave continued with his antics.

"Enough of that David," Sarah smiled, "Lunch is ready."

After lunch, Sarah volunteered to drive Mindy and Dave to the nearest subway station. Dave sat behind Sarah & Mindy sat across from him. As soon as they were clear of the driveway, Sarah started up the conversation.

"So I'm guessing the plan is to blow the girls away with a Mindy makeover?" she looked back at Dave with the rear view mirror.

Dave nodded brightly, "Mindy's going to show up those mean girls at their own game and make that stupid boy wish he'd never ditched her in the first place."

Sarah laughed, "So, any ideas where to start?"

Seeing as Mindy seemed to be tuning them out, Dave made a show of sizing up Mindy, "Mindy's got the nicest green eyes. A green dress would compliment them nicely."

"That's a bit too easy," Sarah said, "How about if we went red, for contrast?"

"What do you think Mindy?" Dave looked to the girl beside him.

Mindy sighed, "I'll know it when I see it."

Unperturbed Sarah continued, "Mindy honey, you know what I've never seen you wear? Purple. That could be a nice colour on you."

Dave looked over to Mindy, who turned her head to hide her smirk. He almost thought she was going to let the matter drop, until Mindy spoke up.

"Purple doesn't agree with me," Mindy said, addressing the two of them. "I don't want to look like a walking, talking grape or anything."

Now it was Dave's turn to look away to hide his grin. He never thought Hit-Girl would ever denounce purple. As he watched the scenery pass by, he noticed at barbershop as they passed by.

"What about a new hairdo? Or maybe you could dye your hair?" Dave asked. This time, he enjoyed seeing Mindy flinch.

"I like my hair the way it is," Mindy said, sounding a surprisingly defensive.

"I'm sorry Mindy, but I have to agree with David on this one. I think you need to do something different to your hair. All I've ever seen you have are pigtails, a ponytail or simply loose," Sarah paused, as if in thought, "You know, I think I have an old set of hair curlers."

Mindy crossed her arms, "I don't want to end up looking like Taylor Swift."

"Actually, I think she wears her hair straight nowadays," Dave countered. He averted his gaze, knowing she'd be glaring at him for his comment.

Sarah shook her head, "How about we compromise with slightly wavy hair. It will make you look like an elegant lady."

Fingering her hair slightly, Mindy gave the barest nod, "I think I'm ok with that."

They rode on in companionable silence until they passed by a billboard ad for cosmetics, Sarah continued, "I assume you two will be buying makeup too? I'd share whatever I have with you Mindy, but our complexions are so different, all I'd really be able to offer you is lip gloss. David?"

Dave turned to study Mindy. It was hard to look at Mindy without losing himself, but forced himself to look at her in 'makeover mode'.

"You're staring," Mindy said, turning away from him.

Realising he'd been looking too long, Dave rolled with it, "You're so pretty." He punched her slightly, making sure to keep his wrist bent, keeping up appearances. "I agree with the lip gloss. Maybe add in a little eye liner and some minimal powder and that's it. To be honest, Mindy barely needs any makeup."

"You are such a sap," Mindy said, smiling.

Sarah sighed, "It's great to have some girl time alone to ourselves isn't it?"

"Yes," Dave said, making an exaggerated face and winking at Mindy, "Yes it is."

Dave had only seen Mindy McCready burst out in uncontrollable laughter a handful of times. This one was the best so far.

* * *

So I was wrong about this fic being exclusively based on the movies. In the comics, Mindy's mom left Damon and married Marcus. I really liked how both Mindy & Marcus had to tiptoe around the subject of Hit-Girl around her and wanted to have a character like that in my fic.

Thanks for reading.


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